“don’t stop believing”
There’s that line of the song again. But don’t stop believing in what, though? Hold on to what feeling?
Philosophical Engineering
At first, I wasn’t really sure what to believe in or hold on to. With work consuming my life and the emotional juggling of love, I had all sorts of different feelings and thoughts to handle and sort out for myself. Even though I felt more comfortable because of the progress with working with my mentor Dan, there were still too many people telling me what to do and what not to do. I didn’t know how to organize all of this.
I knew that if I didn’t work, I supposedly couldn’t afford my life. But when I worked, that is being told what to do every day, I could now afford to live the life I really wanted. This made it hard to decide what I wanted to do with myself. And when I thought about love, I wasn’t sure if I was falling for a billboard ad or actually stumbling head over heels for someone.
I had all these different voices in my head, telling me to do this or to do that. I didn’t know which one to listen and believe anymore. But at the same time, I knew I was always holding on to the voice inside, telling me what I should be doing with my life.